Follow by Email

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Click of Destiny


He's a student.


He's 6 years my junior.


He’s almost 30 miles away from me. 

I have every reason in the world not to choose him.

He’s the last person I could ever thought of falling in love with. 

...But I did, still do and will always do…now, that’s ironic!

It started in Facebook…now don’t ask who invited who…LOL. 
Alright…I did make the first move of inviting him but I really have no idea who he is…I am just in search of someone who can be my friend… I am not expecting for more because I am not fond of eyeballs either especially that guys nowadays won’t give you their time without seeing you first…well, atleast that is for my opinion…I just want a constant textmate…that’s all! I don’t know but I have this feeling…insecure feeling that there’s more tendency for someone to love me when they know me first in the net or through text than seeing me personally first. I feel I am not beautiful enough or maybe, they won’t like me…so just to be safe…I opt to have friends online.

It was a normal day of adding whoever in facebook….just random people…I didn’t know that one click on the “add as friend” button of a total stranger named “Mickey Eusebio” is a click of destiny.

Just a day after I added him, I checked my facebook and I have 3 messages. Those messages came from the ones I have added a day ago saying hi and hello but one of the three messages really leave quite an impression. That’s the first time he made me smile…and never fail to do so until now. Anyway, as I remember it right, he says how he finds me stunning. OMG. Yes that’s the word, stunning! I have never in my whole life found a man who could describe me as stunning…I was amazed as well…I am a self-confessed insecure of how I look like..(I have dual personality when it comes to this coz sometimes I feel narcissistic…hahahaha…) but that’s not the point, he always compliments me…and I can’t help but feel good about it…not until he confessed he is just 19 years old and literally…my jaw dropped like...

“Are you serious???? This is not happening…I am flirting with a guy 6 years younger than me. OH pleaseeeeeee……just few years passed his puberty…and to think I like him…I’m gonna have to stop this…I am supposed to be his ATE…”

...but something in my mind is shouting…

”But he’s the sweetest….and you must admit, you’re happy just chatting or talking with that teenager..so forget about minor abuse…he’s not even minor anymore…”

There’s really a debate going on in my head and I decided that there’s more men who is not as young as he is so maybe I will let him passed by…that all I could offer was just friendship…

If only he is my age or older, I would love to give him a chance.

When he’s dropping some hints that he loves me…I will just laugh on him and tease him saying…

“Haynako…that’s not LOVE…atsaka ang bata bata mo pa, anong alam mo sa love?” 

...and he would always defend that he knows what he is feeling if only I would give him a chance. Of course, I have ignored him for the first weeks but as days passed by, I am starting to see him in a different light. He has his immaturities (which is just normal..I do have my own..) but not overly immature…I mean he’s more mature than I thought he was. He persistently made me feel loved…there is no moment that I felt that he’s not serious… despite the fact that I’m continuously avoiding his sweet gestures and ignore all his efforts. There was a time when I told myself… 

“Damn, he’s so serious in pursuing me…”

After all the efforts, I told him not to text me anymore but as I was texting that, I am also hurting…that feeling that you don’t want to let someone go…that feeling that just imagining a day without his text would make me feel so sad…that’s the time I realized that I don’t care about the age gap anymore…I just want him to be there everyday…Thus, I gave him a chance to prove to me he’s mature enough for me and to convince me enough to overlook our age gap.

Surely enough, he had proven me wrong. He’s so genuine and everyday that he’s courting me, I discover more reasons to fall in love with him. I tried not to fall for him too early…trying to play hard-to-get… but for someone as persistent as him, you can’t help but fall...and the time comes that when he says “I love you”, I can’t control myself to say the same. I don’t wanna play hard-to-get anymore coz I only meet someone like him just once in a lifetime and I don’t want to let it go. 

Simply put, he succeeded in winning my heart. I choose him and I bet that’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life…the decision to choose to overlook the age for as long as you love each other. 

On February 12, 2012, I gave him my sweet "YES" and there the real story began...

Since that fateful day, our relationship grows from days to weeks to a month and now going on 6 months. The first month went well. We see each other for the first time in Eastwood and I guess this is our first Valentine date together, if you can call it a date. The first time I met him, I was smiling coz he doesn't seem to be the man I talk to on the phone....coz he is so shyyyy..he was hiding under my arms...never wanting to let me satre at him for seconds....but I find it cute....his shyness continues when I introduce him to my mom, my sister and my aunt and that's the first time he had witnessed my special talent in "speed-eating"...Right after he met my family, he also introduced me to his parents which is around the area that time...and damn have I eaten and swallowed my tongue coz I was soooo speechless...this is the first time I have ever been introduced to the parents of the one I love and indeed, it is ver hard because you are anxious that they might not like you for their son. and I mean hellllerrrr???? meet-the-parents on the 3rd day of our relationship??? that is fast!!!

That first date led to a second date and as of now, we have been seeing each other for at least twice a month??? One of the most memorable dates we had is when we decided to have a photowalk in Enchanted Kingdom..Geezzz...it was tiring but there I realized that no matter how tired you are, when you are with the one you love and when you are with the reason why you smile...you can always make it through...and when I was in the bus at aroung 10pm going to Manila...I can't help but smile because we had fun taking pictures but more importantly, we had fun building happy and sweet memories together...

That day, he is so sweeettt, as usual, but if you ask me what's the sweetest thing he ever did to me? I can't think of anything in particular coz there are so manyyyy...

He surprised me with an "I LOVE YOU KRISTINE" poster at the trunk of his car...
He wrote "WILL YOU MARRY ME" on a mirror with my lipstick...(even if he didn't mean to marry me now...that is still sweettt...
He always surpised me with simple thing like chocolates, etc...
He always remembers me when he is out of the country...
He always gives my mom "pasalubong" when he visits me at home just to show he remembers her...
He never fails to show how much he loves me...by texting me...calling me unexpectedly just to say "i love you" or just to hear my voice in a middle of his class...posting something in facebook...mentioning me in twitter...creating collages of our pictures together...serenading me every time...He is really amazing...

So...how lucky can I ever get?

You might wanna ask...Is it all happy? Is it really that simple and easy? Well..honestly..the answer is..it is not all happy...it's not that simple...it is never easy...I say it's hard coz like just any other couple, we have our own share of fights...both petty and deep ones...we have tons of it actually..mmm....you can't possibly think that a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP with a 6-year AGE GAP can go on verrrryyyy smoootthhhhllyyyy, right?

....and before I decided to love him, I have already expected the challenge of handling an extraordinary relationship...but as the song goes...Nobody says it would be easy but no one told me it could be this hard...but before you misinterpret things...I would like to clear that though it's hard, at the end of the day, it's all worth it...He is worthy..

Some may say that fights are signs of incompatibilities...I couldn't agree more...but who says you can't reconcile incompatibilities? who says one cannot adjust to the other? In this relationship, I have learned that there are no irreconcilable differences with great willingness to work things out...that it is possible to be compatible even if both of you cannot possibly think you can ever be...but there's the catch....it takes a little extra....superrrrrr meggaaaaaa duppperrrrrrr grabeeeeennngggg to the highessssttttt levellllll na effort...hahahahahhahah!


And I must admit that most of the, he is the one who is willing to take that extra mile for our relationship. And that's the reason why I have fallen even more and more and deeper and deeper in love with him. Sometimes, people only see our fights and his immaturities but they don't see how good of a man he is, how he takes care of me, how he is always concern about me, how he is willing to change for me, and how he is willing to adjust for the betterment of our relationship..I would not love him this much if I know he is not deserving of such. He is not perfect...he has his flwas but one thing is for sure...he loves me so much and I feel the same....

But wait, it doesn’t mean I am not trying as well. Being in love with a guy 6 years younger than you have its advantages…and with every advantage comes disadvantages. It is not that easy but I know we’ve decided to love each other and I’ll stand by every decision I’ve made. I’ve tried…and still trying but there are times that my best ain’t enough.

There are times we want to give up on each other…tired of the fights…but it always boils down to questions: 

“Can we survive without the other?”

"Are we happy?"

“Do we still love each other?”

...and the answers always leads us back to each other.

I am afraid of rollercoasters but that almost 6 months have been the best rollercoaster I’ve ever experienced in my whole damn life…and never will I regret a thing…I will forever treasure the love we feel for each other coz this is the very thing that can make us hurdle every obstacle and overcome every challenge.
I believe in him. 
I believe in US.
No matter what destiny brings, I will always hold on to the though that we can make it through it all...
..I will always remember the promise we have made that nothing's gonna take us apart...I will never forget that God is the one who had led us to find each other...and that only Him can break what Kelvin and I had....


Yeah, by the way, that's his real name...Kelvin John D. Eusebio.