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Monday, October 17, 2011

Open Letter to the twin of my soul

SCENARIO: I walked into a room full of people in white or black blouses or dresses. I don’t exactly know what this is but the mood is depressing. Almost no one seems to smile. Everything is vague but I know the ones I see are my friends, my workmates, my neighbors. Now I know what this is…this is a funeral. Then I heard a voice of a girl describing the person inside the coffin…I can never be mistaken..this is my sister describing me..and tears rolled down my eyes…then I woke up! (Geez…Thank you! It is just a dream..walanghiya yun, kung makadescribe..ahahahaha.joke!)

It was a bad dream but it is also a good dream realizing that if there’s someone who can most perfectly describe me as a person, aside from my mother, it would be my one and only sister (one and only sibling actually) Who else can better describe me but someone who have been with me since day 1 of my life. She knows how “maldita” I am, how moody I am, how ugly I look when I woke up, how many lice I have when I was a kid (halos kalbuhin nila ako..ewwww..), how “burara” I am, how dirty my panties are when I have menstruation, how I always forget to flash the toilet after I pooped, how I pick my nose. She had seen my whole body, naked! Ok..ok…I have made my point already, this is really getting grossed…LOL. So if u think you know how close our ties are, you have no idea because we are not just any other ordinary sister relationship, I have always believed that what we have is beyond sisterhood, (brotherhood?) if there is something beyond that. We can have a sister but rarely do we consider them as our best friend and much more, our soulmate but for me, she is my best friend, protector, confidante, companion, and my soulmate all rolled into one. If you know me, you would be surprised by this post. I am not good at this appreciation and thanksgiving stuff…however, this only comes once a year so this is the perfect time to tell my sister how much I appreciate her and how much I thank God for giving me the twin of my soul.

Thank you for the following:

  • Taking care of me when I was still a baby…You are only 4 years old back then when you are forced to look after your cute baby sister (don’t deny it, I am the cutest baby you’ve ever seen!) When every kid your age is playing outside, you are inside the house since mama needs to work to provide for our needs. Not to mention, for being patient with me when I was having tantrums and throwing all of your toys on you (maldita talaga!) but you have to say sorry for tying me up in a tree. LOL.

  • For being a good student when we were in the same school…because of that, you had built a good reputation. The teachers would tell me, “ah…ikaw ba yung kapatid ni Katrina? Kasing bait at kasing talino mo siguro yung kapatid mo…” (Are you Katrina’s sister? You must have been as kind and as smart as your sister..) Although, they have expected more of me, it made me strive hard to be worthy to be called your sister.

  • For simply being my protector!!! Police protection can’t even come close to my sister’s protection of me when we were in the same school. (exaggggg!!!!) I remember before, no one can pick a fight on me because they are scared of my sister..Hahahahahahha…I don’t mind if I was behind your shadow all the time…coz I know if I was the elder one, you would not mind as well.
  • For being my no. 1 fan! You would always compliment me, praise me, and appreciate me for all my achievements, big or small. You’re the very first one who will applaud in my feats. And the very first one who will extend a hand when I fall. When I am down, you would pull me up and when I am up, you would push me even higher…

  • For being the younger sister sometimes…ahahahahahaha! You would always tell me..”parang ikaw ang panganay ah!!!” and I want you to know I appreciate you when you lend your ear to listen on what I have to say and have the humility to accept that I have a point just like a younger sister. I am happy to know that I don’t limit my opinion just because I am the “bunso” of the family coz you hear me out.
  • For being always on my side, right or wrong… You know I don’t want your impulse sometimes.. And you also know that I always preach you to be objective in your decisions. No biases. We are the total opposite of each other. When it comes to fights, you are the impulsive type and I am the think-before-you-speak type. We would always clash on our views. You would always tell me…”ikaw si baka naman…hindi naman siguro…” As my friends would put it, I am the balance in the family. I told you that impulse can make you do things without even thinking about it, that can’t make the situation better; it can only make it worse. I remember before, it made me cry when you said that I can’t defend mama. But please understand ate, this is my personality. For me, fighting based on impulse is not a good way to handle a situation. It is not that I don’t care about it, but I believe that you should always hear the side of the other to have an objective view on the matter and if you are right, there are other diplomatic ways to solve the problem. And I know, you accept me for that. How I wish you would appreciate my objectivity sometimes because there is no other person who can tell you upfront if you’re right or wrong but me.
  • For spoiling me. Mama would always tell me “napakaspoiled mo naman sa kapatid mo…” coz whatever I want, when you can, you’ll give it to me. You’re naturally generous ate! If I will count all the things you’ve given me, I would forever be indebted to you but don’t worry ate, I know I am frugal but when time comes that I have money to spend, I will spoil you as well regardless if I have a husband or daughter already. I know you are not asking for anything in return but I want to return all the favor coz you deserved it and because I love you.

  • For being ever supportive in all my endeavors and never judged me in my decisions. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and through it all, you have supported me. You never judge me for doing bad things in my life. You know my deepest secrets but you still see me as if I am the best.
  • For being a doctor. Your pride is my pride and my pride is yours ate! I am so proud that I have a sister who is a doctor. It’s just that it’s not my nature to be boastful but whenever I say that “my sister is a doctor.” I say it with pride. Whatever you achieve in your life, I feel like I own it up to the extent that sometimes, I feel like I wanna be like you. You’re my idol in perseverance and determination. Also, because of this, you’ve been a big help especially to mama. Actually, not just a big help, you’re the breadwinner! When I was the only one working before, I was stressed on how I could help mama but with you now, it lighten my burden or should I say, it removed my burden coz you’ve carried it all!!! Ahahahahahahaha….ligtas ako… (I am saved!)

  • For being my sister. Actually, it’s not you to thank but GOD for lending you a life to be a sister anyone would have asked for.

Sorry for not being a good sister when I have every opportunity to be one. I know that sometimes, you just need a little sweetness from me, a big hug after a long tired day at work (kasi wala naman bf mo dito..ahahahahaha..wala..wala..wala!!! iyak ka na?) but instead, I feel like I am taking you for granted most of the time. Sorry ate!

I know I am not the best sister, but sorry, I am all you’ve got. *wink* Sometimes, I know you feel that I’m kinder to other people than to you. That may be true but I will never want to replace you as my sister. I know you would get mad but…I am thinking that when I die, I want to know when so that I can make the best of my days spending it with you and mama. But if I have the same opportunity as Dianne in 49 days (Pure Love), I will surely live because I have you and mama who would cry for me representing pure love!

Always take care of yourself ate. Never abuse yourself just for the sake of having more money. (I know you are not like that!)Work will always be there but once you abuse your health, your life is on the line. You are a doctor, you know that!!! As much as I want to tell you to live your life and don’t worry about me and mama, I can’t coz we both know that at this point, we need your help. You are old enough to live alone but you are still worrying about us, though I know you’re doing it for your own happiness. You are a very good daughter and MAMA must have been very very very proud for having a daughter like you, except sa pagiging pikon!!! Ahahahahahaha…

I wish you happiness kapatid. I know you are happy and contented right now but there are things that can make you even happier. I wish you….

TRUE LOVE….although I think you already have one but I wish that may you have eternity to spend with each other. I can see how happy you are when he’s there, so who am I to stop you from loving someone who can make your gloomy day blissful. At the very least, you ought to have that!

I wish that I may have many….

NEPHEWS and NIECES from you but I am not saying now!!! (excited ka agad!) Always remember that a child will be given at the right rush! If it’s meant for you, it will come so just enjoy the times you don’t have one yet! And I wish that I can treat your child as my own (wag ka magseselos sa akin ah!) ahahahahha…

I wish that you’ll be an…

OB-GYNE as soon as possible! This is not to compliment you or anything but I really think you’ll make a great OB-GYNE because you have a heart of a mother. I can’t wait to receive a check from you (akala mo kung anu noh? Ahahahaha…palamunin pala ako!) kidding aside, I can’t wait to see the day when you’re at the peak of your career. I have no doubts that even when that day comes, I can still scold you when you’re wrong! You never make me feel that you’re a doctor, you stay the same, actually, you became sweeter and kinder, as I know you when you have nothing to be proud of. I commend you for that!

And what’s best in you is that, when you have no time for yourself anymore, you still have time to spend for us! So I wish you more TIME for yourself, a time to travel around the world, a time for your future husband and your future children, a time to live your life to the fullest!

I love you ATE! My love for you is like the air. You may not feel it but it surrounds you everyday of your life. Naks!!!!! Celebration na!!!